Midlife Without the Crisis

The new 50’s is a vibrant and transformative chapter of life, challenging the stereotypes and rewriting the script on aging. This phase is not about reaching a numerical milestone or acting your age. It’s a chapter marked by individuality, resilience and confidently embracing the age you feel.  

At 54, life feels like a second chance to me, but this time with the advantage of experience and freedom.  The 50's ushered in a profound shift where my priorities evolved, and I unpacked and repackaged every value and belief I had. Unlike my 40's, which for many of us, is dominated by work and raising kids, the new 50's are about self-discovery and personal fulfillment. 

Age is not a number, it’s a state of mind 

As the world evolves, so does the perception of age. The dichotomy of acting your age versus acting how you feel becomes a crucial aspect of the 50’s mindset.  It’s less about slowing down and embracing the decline to old age and more about self-care and healthy living. This plays a vital role in the shifting paradigm where chronological age takes a backseat to the way we feel about ourselves, our bodies, and our lives. The new 50’s mindset revolves around vitality, wellbeing, and the belief that the best is yet to come. 

The biology of aging 

You don’t have to dig too deep to find a plethora of information around the biology of aging.  There is undisputed scientific evidence about what happens to our bodies as they age. But there is also research around the mind-body connection with aging. These studies found those who ‘envisioned’ the onset of old age were more likely to face health challenges.  

If we listen to science, the truth is our hormones shift and our metabolism slows around 30% by the time we are in our fifties. But I’m not a Doctor so I won’t argue biology.   

I can only speak to my personal experience as a 54-year-old woman living it, in real time.  I entered my 50’s feeling amazing, and (quite smugly) at least a decade younger than the number of candles on my cake. It wasn’t until I turned 53 that I noticed a biological shift.  My body started to change - inside and out. 

Is menopause making me fat?   

Abso(effing)lutely.  Just when I thought I had aging under control, biology decided that I will gain weight on the mere thought of food.  (Wait, do thoughts have calories?) 

While my weight gain is a work in progress, I do know that the number of calories i burn has to be more than the volume I consume. However sometimes, i just don’t care to do the math.  I’ve given up on the fad diets and the hours of cardio and instead I'm focusing on increasing protein, building muscle and healthy eating. Meanwhile, I'll proudly embrace my imperfections. 

A rebellion against ageism 

As women, we endure a lot in our first 50 years – trying to be enough, do more, work harder and juggle it all. We build careers, make homes, give birth, raise kids, nurture friends and manage schedules. We arrive at our 50’s... exhausted.   

Then something else shifts.   

All that pressure dissipates.   

Sure, as the 50's unfold, the pendulum swings. Conversations that once revolved around nights out and marathons transition to discussions about sore joints, menopause, and navigating the challenges of aging.   

But I feel better, and more confident now than I ever have.

“Comfortable in my skin”, as Beyonce sings; and there is an innate power that comes with that confidence. What I have gained in my 50’s is the ability to not care about things that are out of my control. I say what I mean, I mean what I say, I dress how I feel, I work with purpose, I call out BS and I distance myself from fair weather friends.  

I also colour my greys, I haven’t had botox (yet), my hips hurt when i sit too long, sometimes pizza gives me reflux and a great night out ends by 9pm. But I’m living my best life.  

Addressing age shaming  

A critical aspect of the new 50's is addressing age shaming, which is unfortunately trending. Madonna was shamed for being too old in her ‘weird and outrageous’ performance, while Jennifer Lopez (JLo) was told to hang up her career to make space for the younger generation.  Even Justin Timberlake was shamed for his ‘dad dancing’ on socials.   

We live in an era of cancel culture, where wokism is praised and people think their opinions are gospel ... and I’m a bit bored by it all. Fact is that Madonna, has been pushing boundaries and stereotypes since I was a teen – it's what catapulted her to fame. But now at 64 it's disgusting (apparently).  

I think it's just that we are unaccustomed to seeing women in their 50s embracing their sexuality and freedom. We are also living in a world more connected than ever, and life often plays out on social media.  So the collective voice can be loud, and the pressure to conform to outdated expectations can be intense.  

It takes courage to dismantle these stereotypes and recognise that age is not a limitation. It’s a canvas for continued growth, creativity, and self-expression ... at any age.  I hope people like Madonna and JLo continue to challenge convention and redefine ageist standards.  This will ultimately create a cultural shift and help to empower all women in midlife. 

Beyonce (although she’s only 42) poignantly captures the essence of the new midlife; “been the light, been dark, been the truth...still a ten, still here, that’s all me!”  

Well said Queen B, I’ll see you in 8 years for an update. 

This article was originally published by Darling Magazine

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